I was supposed to be 8 weeks at our first appointment, but actually was only barely 6 wks. When you don't really ovulate anymore the formulas don't really work.
I told Michael this pregnancy I was going ALL OUT! With the boys I was so sick for so long and then they were so heavy I just never felt like doing anything. Shopping was not fun and walking any amount of distance was painful.
This was one baby! I am going to be a like a " normal" pregnant person!
WRONG!
Actually, this has been the HARDEST thing. I tried to survive as long as I could on my own. The vomiting began week 7. But, this time I had to take care of 2 boys. Let's be honest-I was a warm body. I can't describe how terrible it was. Awful rent house, new town, no family, no friends, no routines.
I had hyperemesis with the boys. It was bad, but by week 10 the twice a day zofran kept me going.
With hyperemesis it gets more severe with each pregnancy. So this time it was even worse. Gone were my hopes of a normal pregnancy. July 17 was my last day out of my house and out of my bed until the end of September.
I got really bad off. I had lost 20+ pounds in 4 weeks and went to the ER. That did nothing and by that point I was just vomiting blood. All this sickness was irritating my gut issues and a day later I was in the hospital for 5 days trying to keep things down.
Mind you, we have just moved to AR. We have no family, no friends yet. It was bad. The boys were troopers, but stressed. So with me in the hospital my mom flies in to rescue the boys! Michael had responsibilities at work he couldn't get out of so Mimi had to take care of the boys in a town and in a home that was foreign.
I still was very sick even once I got out. I took zofran and phernergan in massive dosage amts and just laid in bed for weeks.
I can't eat hardly anything bc of my stomach issues. Coupled with extreme nausea and I spent many days eating nothing at all.
But, I made it! Week 16 I turned the corner and went to church for an hour.
Week 18 I finally went to target!
Week 19 I finally got to do Fun Friday with the family.
I know those don't sound monumental but I have been so physically and emotionally isolated. My connection to the world was through my phone. I read more FB than I ever care to, watched the laguna beach marathon followed by the hills marathon, and even decided that the craftmatic bed doesn't sound so bad. I have resisted the tortilla bowl maker...for now.
It still is a challenge. My stomach is still giving me terrible fits and will have me sick for days. I'll have a nauseated day and just stay in bed.
I hate not being there for my kids in the way we planned. This is our last year at home together and I had great plans for us. It breaks my heart that the boys are so familiar with illness. It makes me sad that Brody wants to go to a restaurant and eat all together as a family and that's something that I may never be able to do again. It breaks my heart that they think my tummy will stop hurting when the baby comes when I know this is a lifestyle for me.
No, definitely not easy.
Who said motherhood is easy?!
But is there joy in suffering-yes!
My boys bring me the greatest joy I have ever known. Their sweet spirits and love of life warms my heart.
All this is worth the Joy we will meet in March. I still can't believe it, but we are blessed and excited to meet Baby!
Just a pic from my first outing again!
2 comments:
Oh sweet friend, I am so sorry. I had wondered if you were sick with this one, since you were sick with the twins. Boo! I hate that this has been so hard for you, and I am just amazed that you have stayed so strong. It is clear that God has somehow been preparing you for this suffering, and that He is getting you through it. I am SO overjoyed at the answered prayer for your baby, and I believe that God has great plans for you and your growing family. I hope you continue to feel better and better, and to be able to enjoy this pregnancy and time with your precious boys. Praying for many more fun Target trips! Love you!
Oh Leah, I am so sorry - I hated being sick during the first trimester and I as just "normal" sick. I was truly depressed at times. I will be praying for you and your sweet baby to both be healthy. So sorry that you have these issues, but truly thrilled that you are pregnant!
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